spudacus_1 (spudacus_1) wrote,

~ How do we escape, yet live our lives? ~ Chapter 6 ~ Torn ~ Part 1

How do we escape, yet live our lives?



Author: Spudacus
Chaptered Fic ~ Chapter 7 Of ??? ~

Rating: NC17/18(sexual content & language)
Pairings: JaeHo/YoonJae, YooSu, ChangTa/KeiMin, MIN7EN, Min/Siwon, Min/Heechul and Siwon/Heechul also Others Possibly.
Everything, Love, life, romance, lust, sex, violence, light drug addiction, like a drama I suppose.
omg I don’t know what to say really! :D , this is basically about the boys and their lives etc and their problems and all that, a bit like a drama/soap! :D

Disclaimer: I don’t own the boys, nor do they know I am writing this and I wish I did own them Hahaha lol *dirty/naughty mind takes over lol*


I hope you all like this, I’m quite excited about it! :D please tell me what you think! :D thank you! :D ENJOY!


~ Prologue ~

~ Chapter 1 ~

~ Chapter 2 ~

~ Chapter 3 ~ THE LOSS OF ME ~

~ Chapter 4 ~ Meetings ~

~ Chapter 5 ~ Tea Stains ~

~ Chapter 6 ~ Love In The Ice ~




~ Chapter 7 ~ Torn ~ Part 1 ~




They had scrambled onto the soft and inviting bed, covered only by their tight and bulging underwear. Yoochun wore white cotton briefs and Junsu wore black satin boxer-briefs which clung to his strong thighs like honey to a spoon.


Their hands roamed freely over each other’s taught sexy bodies and each boy kissed deeply and suckled on each other’s neck. Yoochun breathed on Junsu’s neck and made him moan at the feeling of hot lust dancing along his cool skin.


Junsu rolled Yoochun over and he slipped on a condom which he had in his pocket, he slowly painfully, for both, entered Yoochun, both cried out. Each moaning and feeling as if a part of their souls had been filled by something indescribable, everytime Junsu rocked into Yoochun, getting faster and faster and harder and deeper and deeper, the love for each other swelled to bursting. Exhausted they slept, quietly and contently, inside and cradling each other softly.


Things carried on and the relationship developed into a full blown deep love for each other. However Junsu was getting harassed by his parents to find a girl and to go to certain church services, his frustrations grew and grew, he had no outlet for them and the only way he could forget how torn between his love for Yoochun and his religion.


He told his parents that he was moving out and into a flat to share with a friend, they were actually cool with it all, and so he introduced Yoochun to his family, they all luckily got on well, they all really liked Yoochun and he liked them all too, everything seemed to be fine.


However Junsu started to drink more and more and with his drunkenness he got violent and angry towards Yoochun, who only ever wanted to love another and to be loved by another, he couldn’t understand why and how their once sweet relationship had deteriorated to this love-hate thing they now had but that nether could live with nor live without it ate away at their torn hearts and minds.


He returned home, late again. Out drinking, as usual, he’d be wanting to ‘get some’ tonight. How can I resist this time, the figure thought to himself. While laying there alone and naked, in the darkened blue and red room, on the black bed, he could hear some shuffling noises and the mumblings of a drunk, muttering under his breath, cursing  and insulting  the hallway table for purposefully being in his way.


‘Not again’, the lonesome figure thought.

‘I don’t want and need him to hurt me again; I still haven’t recovered from the last time he took his hands to my skin, when I last denied him something.’

Then the door finally opened and out rang a beautiful voice, the voice of the violent drunk…. Kim Junsu.


 “Yah! Yoochun-ah! You are awake! Right!?....good, I’m in the mood, come on now babe, I don’t want to have to get angry again…..do I!?”


The slim body turned over on the bed, faced his lover and abuser, and then forced an inviting smile filled with regret, hurt and a deep tortuous love.


Yoochun was feeling like he always caused people to get violent and beat him, his father  did it, his ex-boyfriend did it and now did this new one too, they all blamed him for everything bad in their lives. Yoochun always needed something to escape from this sad life of his.


Junsu returned home drunk as usual he had gone to church quiet and feeling bad and gone to the service which preached against homosexuality, so feeling awful, Junsu went to the bars around town trying to drown his sorrows and his loves in his life, trying to forget that he loves a man, a man he loves to love but also loves to hate, just the same as his religion.


He was in a mood and came in throwing abuse at Yoochun who was not going to stand for it any more. “I don’t want to be around you when you are like this Junsu-ah! It’s not right and you hurt me in so many different ways! How can you call that love! HUH!? HAH!? THAT NOT LOVE NOT IN MY BOOK!” Yoochun screamed at Junsu who was steadily making his way to the older boy, Yoochun was dragged up from the bed, “who do you think you are? You are just a worthless piece of shit! You are the cause of my drinking and of my pain, how can I turn my back on something that has guided me so well and for so long!? Eh!? Huh!? Speak when spoken to bitch! ?” he slapped Yoochun across his handsome face, he was crying now, “come on now don’t be like that, that won’t help, just strip for me and we will think nothing of it…okay…what you are defying me!? and don’t shout at me!” another blow to Yoochun’s face, this time it was a punch, he grabbed Yoochun’s arms bruising them again, Yoochun’s arms were almost always bruised by Junsu’s heavy handedness.


Yoochun pushed off of him and ran to the bathroom, his push sent Junsu knocking back against the hard wall which pulled at his tiredness, dulling him and his senses. Yoochun had managed to lock the solid white wooden bathroom door behind him before the drunken and deranged Junsu could get to him. The younger boy was now sitting on the floor, back against the door-frame; his hand was lazily knocking on the door every now and again. Yoochun was trying so hard not to cry even though is heart was breaking slowly and painfully, he searched for some escape, he looked through tear blurred eyes at the cupboard hanging on the wall, he put his hand out towards it and opened the glass cabinet without looking into the mirror. Inside lay an assortment of painkillers, plasters, health care bottles and his anti-depressants. He smiled a sad but happy smile at the small bottle it had around fifty pills left and he still had another bottle of a hundred tablets waiting in the corner of the cabinet.


He fumbled the bottle open hurriedly and popped into his hand then his mouth two tablets, even though the label said one. He drank some water and went back to the door. He put his hand solemnly against it, his palm became slightly damp at the touch of the door. With the condensation it looked like the door was weeping for their now battered and heavily bruised love.


Out side Junsu was still drinking, he was still babbling to the world in general though Yoochun, who had slid down the door and had sat against it rocking the pain away while the tablets slowly kicked in, Junsu’s mutterings of hate and disgust faded away as he fell asleep, they both did at the same time.


In their dreams they were together forever, always and forever. Never hurting each other and never giving up on each other. Their love was eternal and stronger than any belief they had in anything else before. They loved each other freely and neither was dependant upon drugs or drink to feel good or to forget about the world. They could both be lost in each other’s arms and never want to leave, each cried while they were sleeping a few silent tears.

Tags: :18, changta/keimin, jaeho/yoonjae, life, light drug addiction, love, love in the ice, lust, min/heechul, min/siwon, min7en, nc-17, romance, sex, siwon/heechul, violence, yoosu
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